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Racist People are Stupid
I was in downtown LA with Vanessa. We went down there to
go eat lunch with Brad and Vilma while they were on their lunch break (they are interns at Mercer). After eating lunch, Me
and Vanessa walked around a bit. I was walking one way, and Vanessa wasn't really paying attention. Some black guy who looked
like a bum was walking toward me. I heard him mumble, "no asians please." I heard it, and I got SO friggin mad. I could feel
all the blood boil inside of me. Vanessa didn't hear it, but she saw my face. I looked like I wanted to kill somebody. She
got all confused and asked me what happened, so I told her. Of course she was laughing. I had the look of sheer death on my
face. I was SO angry!! I started cursing at him, and I just wanted to run up to him and kick his ass.
Lesson: Racism
is stupid. Where's the love?
The Dinosaurs!!
During
orientation, they split us up into groups within our majors. We went into a small room, and our Academic Advisor talked to
us about classes. All of us sat together and were looking for classes to take. As part of your GE (general education), you
have to take classes that fulfill the "quantative relationship" portion of your GE. Basically, math like stuff. Being a group
of film majors, all of us despised math with a passion. We were looking through the book of classes and we see a class called
Geology 7. The description said that the class was about dinosaurs, AND it fulfilled the quantative relationship area. All
of us immediately jumped at the opportunity and decided that we were gonna take the dinosaur class. We were all saying how
awesome dinosaurs were, and how friggin awesome it would be to take a class on dinosaurs. Don't deny it, dinosaurs fucking
rule!! Little did we know, THE CLASS WAS FULL!!! Damnit!! Other people stole our idea. Our little bubble of happiness broke.
The rest of them just thought "Oh well, there is always next quarter!" I decided to take an oceanography class.
Lesson:
Dinosaurs are awesome
Zombies
This isn't really a story (its not even funny), its more of a reoccurring dream. For some reason, I seem
to have many dreams that involve zombies. I don't know why I have this infauation with zombies. It's really quite strange.
I think it started after I saw the movie "28 Days Later." I thought the movie was friggin awesome! I've had about four zombie
dreams within the past year. One of them occurred very recently. Each one is different, but each dream has zombies. Here
is what happened in my dream:
Dream 1:
I was in London or some city in England. I was walking around this city.
It was after the zombies had attacked and scoured England with their plague, and it was the calm after all of the fury. Something
wasn't right though. It was one of those eerie silences/calms. I went back to my house. The black girl from 28 Days Later
was with me watching tv. I bought groceries or something, and I set it down on the table. I was looking at something, and
out from under the dining room table pops a zombie. It was hiding there the whole damn time. It was coming toward me. It looked
like the zombies from 28 Days Later. If you haven't seen the movie, it looks almost like a regular human, with the exception
of having bloody red eyes. In the movie, the zombies would move extraordinarily fast, but this time it was moving slowly toward
me. I grabbed a weapon. My weapon was this foam thing shaped like a crescent. It was a tool used to play that game where you
threw the ball back and forth. I used to play it in PE way back in the day. If you don't understand what I'm talking about,
then sorry. Basically, the weapon couldn't hurt shit. Plus it was made out of foam!! Im on the floor slowly crawling backwards.
The black girl wasn't paying attention. It seems like the drone of the tv caught her in a trance. The zombie slashed me straight
through the knee. The cut that he made was weird. It was like a triangle shaped cut. It took out a triangle shape piece out
of my knee. My knee wasn't beelding or anything. It just seemed a piece had been taken out of it, and skin formed over
that wound. I was basically immobile at that point. After that I crawled further and further away, scared to death. Then
I woke up.
Dream 2:
This dream wasn't really scary, just strange as hell. I don't really remember too much of it,
just vague pieces of it. In my dream, most of the world was a wasteland of zombies. There were only few pockets of human hideouts
left. I was starting up a car or something in the wastelands, when all of a sudden a whole bunch of zombies start coming out
of nowhere. I get the car going, and they start following me. I drive to the human hideout, and the zombies get in. I wreck
the car completely, and run into the hideout. Many of the survivors start shooting at them while I run to safety. Everyone
of the survivors give me dirty looks for ruining the refuge. I find a fire. Some black guy is singing. He is playing the guitar.
Hes singing something calm like kumbaya or something. The black guy says something to me like I can change the past, something
weird like that. Suddenly I see a flash of light. In actuality, the black guy is god. I know weird. He changed time. I ended
up back in the past. I woke up in my room. I looked around, and realized that time has been changed, and I start thinking
about what I can do to change things. Then I ACTUALLY wake up.
Dream 3:
This one was definately the scariest of
them all. I woke up in my room. The window of my room was all boarded up. There were little peepholes though so that I could
see outside. My house was like a refuge. It was a fortress for the few that were still living. I had a gun in my hand. It
was a pistol. I'm scared already. I look outside through one of the peepholes and see a zombie standing on the wall in my
backyard. The zombies in this dream look especially creepy. Imagine a human with no skin. All of the muscles and internal
organs were exposed. It was also dripping profusively with blood and all sorts of other nasty stuff. Its eyes were blood red.
It was disgusting. I don't know how I dreamed up of that. I tried to keep quiet as possible so I wouldn't alarm the zombie.
I just stared it at walking on the wall. I thought it was about to leave, and I sighed. This alerted the zombie, and it jumped
down the wall and started heading toward my window. Shit, I thought. I grabbed my pistol and pointed it toward the zombie,
and shot it straight through the head. It fell and died. Now I heard more noises. My gun shot alerted the other zombies. I
thought I was in deep shit now, and thought that was the stupidest thing I had ever done. I grabbed another pistol. I loaded
both of the guns up. Zombies started coming by the dozen. They started banging on my window. I shot and shot. My bro came
into my room and said "What did you do?!?!?" in a very angry tone. He started helping me shoot. They broke through the window
and the boards. I saw a zombie head appear through a hole in my window. Then I woke up. I woke up scared as shit, because
I was IN my room where my dream occurred. I thought it was real for a second.
Dream 4:
In this dream, I was helping
a group of civilians. Probably a group of about 20ish civilians. I was a mercenary. I was with a group of four mercenaries
trying to protect these people. We were at a shipping dock. It was scary, because there were all these cargo boxes lying around
everywhere, and we didn't know where they would pop out of. I wasn't that scared in this dream. In fact, I was courageous.
I was willing to risk my life to save these people. The zombies started coming. They looked like your stereotypical movie
zombie, limbs missing, disfigured face, everything. We started running. I was in the back protecting them and shooting the
zombies. We found a room for us to hide. It looked like the area that was by the ASB room in high school. We hid in the room
RIGHT next to the activities office in my old high school, except in my dream, it wasn't a classroom it was a cafeteria. It
was a stereotypical cafeteria. Everything was made of stainless steel. The counter even had a spit guard thing (whatever you
call it). There were lunch tables, the square ones. I pushed all of them against the counter. The room had MANY windows. The
whole wall was just windows. I thought "shit this isn't good." The door itself was even a window, but we barricaded it.
I hid all of the civilians under the tables. Then they caught up. They started banging on the windows. They were slowly breaking.
A little girl was next to me crying. I tried to calm her down as much as possible, but I knew there was no point. I knew the
situation that we were in was dire. We were basically fucked. I tried to think of something in my head, there were no other
exits. I watched the zombies slowly break the glass, while I tried to think as fast as possible. Then I woke up.
Creepy
dreams huh? The only one that really scared the shit out of me was dream 3. Whats weird is that in all of my dreams, the zombies
looked different. They were never the same. Not to mention, in my dreams, some of them I was scared, some of them I wasn't.
In my last dream, I was more courageous. I had courage to save people. Strange....
Lesson: Zombies are creepy
Broken Toilets
I was driving around with Young. He had to go to the bathroom. There was a fatburger nearby, so I stopped.
I parked in a HORRIBLE parking spot. Young ran off to the bathroom. When he came back, this is what he said:
Young: "We
have to get out of here as fast as possible"
At this point I give him the weirdest look ever. I thought he killed someone
or something.
Me: "What the hell did you do?"
Young: "I broke the toilet. Water is flooding everywhere. I don't want
them to catch me."
So I start to backout, but its was damn hard to get out because the parking spot was crap. Young walks
out of the car and helps me back the car out. When all is safe, he opens the door. I start driving with the door open. Young's
foot was barely in the car when he jumps out. He gives me a confused look. My open door almost hit the car next to me. Young
yells at me. I almost left without Young. He gets in the car, and we speed off.
Lesson: Don't leave people
Broken Heads
Freshman year, we went to six flags with the whole band. We
were waiting in line at some water ride. At amusement parks, there is always those metal railings that sort of make the line.
You know, the ones you can sit on. I decided that I wanted to sit on one of them. Instead of casually going on it carefully,
I decided to jump onto it in a weird angle. Bad idea. I basically fell backwards. I have a VERY fast reaction, so I quickly
grabbed the railing. It looked like I was swinging on the railing. I almost cracked my head open. None of my friends helped
me except for Vanessa. They were all laughing hysterically at my faux pas. I remember that my friend Vilma was on the phone
with her friend, and she was laughing hysterically and explaining it to him. I have never been so embarassed in my whole life.
I was probably about a foot away from the concrete. So close to dying....
Lesson: Don't do stupid stuff
The Adventures of Bat Girl
I was sitting on the bleachers. My friends and
I were at the weekly rally. The rally was over. I was sitting about a couple of rows from the ground. I was on the end of
the bleachers close to the exit and the wall. I figured that since I was close to the ground, I would just jump off of it.
I jumped off way too hard. I jumped off so hard that I was gonna hit the wall. Again, my fast reaction, I put my hand out
front and I hit the wall with my hands then landed on the ground. Thank god my friends only saw me. They were laughing hysterically
of course. From that day on, I am now known as "bat girl."
Lesson: I seem to embarass myself alot....
Blunders in New York
I went to NYC with the band people. I don't know how we got
on the subject, but my friends and I decided I would do something really stupid and embarassing in the middle of NYC. Why
was I the guinea pig?? I don't know, I guess I'm stupid enough. I had the idea of running maniacally into a wall
in the middle of times square and scream "the voices in my head are at it again." Then I would get up casually, pretend nothing
was wrong, and continue walking, as normal. I was with my friends Vilma and Laura and here is the conversation that enused:
Me:
Ok Im gonna do it....
Vilma and Laura: ok go
*pause*
*pause again*
Vilma and Laura look at me
Vilma: What the
hell Audrey why aren't you gonna do it?
Me: I dont know....This is rather embarassing
Vilma: You don't know ANYONE in
New York, you will never be seen again, who cares??
Laura: Yeah!
Me: Awww...Fuck it!
*walks away*
Lesson:
Don't say your gonna do something and then wuss out.
San Franciscan Bunkers and Rock
Throwings
I went to San Francisco with Vanessa to visit my cousin Steph, and just to have
some fun. One of the days, my cousin's friend Kevin took us on a little hike/scenic walk in Marin County. We took a hike on
a hill by this beach called Rodeo Beach. We looked up the hill and saw a couple of bunkers. I thought this was strange. Who
would think that San Francisco would have bunkers?? We walked up to the bunkers. Vanessa and I get inside of it, and explore.
We take a picture. I get out of it, and I notice that Steph and Kevin are throwing rocks down the hill. Apparently they were
having a contest to see who's rock would roll down into the ocean. It was a pretty long roll. I joined them. I told them maybe
we shouldn't do this because maybe there might be some poor unfortunate hiker. So we stopped throwing rocks for the momment.
We found a hole. It had a couple of steps going down into the hole. It was pretty dark. All of us were hoping that it would
be some intricate tunnel. So we all crowded around it and just kind of stared into the hole. We attempted to throw rocks into
the hole to see how far it went, and to see if it truly was some sort of tunnel. That plane failed miserably. Vanessa saw
a dead rat, at least what she perceived to be a dead rat. Kevin was convinced that maybe its just a rock. We started throwing
rocks at the dead rat/rock repeatively to see if it indeed was a dead animal or if it was a moldy rock. We concluded that
it was most likely the left over rotted skin of a dead rat. Ewww, gross. We stood around the hole quietly, just staring into
it. It seemed as if we were mesmerized. We were basically waiting to see who had balls enough to actually venture into the
hole. Of couse, Vanessa offered. She climbed down. She said there wasn't much there, just a bunch of junk. Unfortunately it
was not an intricate tunnel system. She threw a rock to show us how far it went. It wasn't very far.
Lesson: Exploring
is hella fun!!
Fantastic Momments in History Repeated Again
Vanessa and I were in this shopping center place in Japantown in San Fran. My cousin and her friend Jennifer were eating
dinner, because they were hungry and we weren't. So we decided to explore. We found some Fantastic Four figurines in a little
vending machine thing. Vanessa wanted one. I told her that if she got Invisible Woman, I would jump off a bridge. And of course,
she gets invisible woman. I am dumbfounded by her luck of getting her Fantastic Four character in the first try. I decide
that I would try to get the Thing, which is my character in the Fantastic Four. I said that if I got the Thing god loves me,
but if I didn't god hates me. Of course, I get the friggin flamer dude. Since we got two out of the four fantastic four members,
Vanessa decided to invest two more dollars. Attempt one, another flamer dude figurine. Attempt two, yet ANOTHER flamer dude.
Vanessa was pissed that she wasted two bucks on three of the same figurines. So she says that we should sit here and wait
for some poor kid to want a figurine, and then pawn it off on him. I thought to myself, this sounds familiar. I tell Vanessa
that this sounds just like our plan in Mexico to get rid of the butterfly knife. I told her its a dumb idea, and its only
two bucks, so whatever, fuck it.
Lesson: Momments tend to repeat itself
The
Bet
I made a little bet with Stefanie the other day. We bet 20 bucks on Chris getting
laid. She says that Chris is gay, but he has heterosexual tendencies. I said, why the hell would he sleep with a straight
woman? Stefanie bet me 20 bucks that Chris will sleep with a woman sometime in college, I said he would not. We shall see
who will win. I only wrote this on my site so that I will remember it.
Lesson: I'll win!
Monument to a Job Well Done
This is another San
Francisco story. When we went hiking, we decided to build a little monument at the top of the hill. We wanted to capture
our great day, and build a monument that other people who hike the area would find. So I started gathering a bunch of rocks
and stacking it on top of each other. Steph and the great idea of putting something in there. Vanessa only had change so she
threw it under the pile of rocks. Steph put a old harry potter ticket in there, and Steph's friend threw in his old
Law School ID thing. I was the only one left, so I threw in my old Baskin Robbin's business card. Steph said that it makes
sense because it represents us in some way. As we headed down the hill, we decided that we would come back next year and see
if our monument was still there. When we got down, we looked back up, and damnit, there were hikers already there looking
at our monument.
Lesson: Damn those hikers
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